Ugh. So I was going to go to this comedy show tomorrow night with some friends in spite of my previous plans not to get together with any of them any more. I bought my ticket and told the organizer I was coming. I knew my ex was on the list of invitees but figured I'd be okay if he showed (I often see him at social events, and although I knew that he had started seeing someone new he hadn't been coming to any events with her).

Then he replies to the whole list that he's coming and that he's bringing the girl he's seeing now. That's actually the first time he's announced that they're seeing each other or brought her to an event with everyone that he and I were friends with. And to a list that included me at a private event. I wish he'd told me he was thinking about it and asked how I felt. At least I wouldn't have bought the @#$@#$ing non-refundable ticket. Ugh.

So now I won't go, nor will I tell him how upsetting it is for me. I did tell the host I'd changed my mind, but at least I didn't reply to the whole list originally (so hopefully they don't know I was planning to come). Guess I'll be home alone as usual. It's all so depressing. I belonged to a close-knit group of friends. My ex belonged too (I brought him into the group when we started seeing each, but we've both been in it for years and years). It's not like I can ask him to leave. The only thing I can do is take myself away from the situation. It's sure depressing to be friendless though. Especially right now when I have no job. I haven't even received a single response to any of the job stuff I've sent out. And of course if I don't find more work I can't afford therapy....

I'm depressed. It'll be a long time before I can feel good again though at least if I get a job that'll help.

Sidony