Been on amytripline 35mg at night and 1mg clonazepam to get some sleep .
Trying to not think of the negative things or the huge problems I have to face. I will have to face them in the near future .
Been walking some but it wears me down fast . My head has cleared some, the elephant on my head is less . I'm not out of the woods for sure ,I very physically weak from this .Trying to do each day . I am not as prone to suicide thoughts but its still there. I read the success stories about coming out of depression , there are not enough of them for my taste . Been in this for months now . Can't take ssri's-- resisting taking remeron for fear of side effects like the severe ones I had on ssri's.
Please let me get better for the people that depend on me . I'm 69 so its not for me but for all those I help support . My past bad decisions are haunting me. I get some peace in sleep now .
I take no pleasure from those I read about that have it worse than me . May make me feel worse . Wishing everyone wellness. I am told to try to stick to positive stuff.