I can relate to having controlling parents who hammer in everything I should be doing...not what I actually want to decide for myself. And I know they mean well, it's just not the life that I am happy with that I partake in every day of my life. It's like I am a puppet and someone else pulling the strings. Because I am conditioned to fear doing anything that is not approved of. I know that I can't blame my parents for everything, they are only human too. But I totally understand that train of thought where it's like "well if I had been born into another family, would I still have ended up like this?" Maybe there would be something else I'd have to complain about... I am honestly scared of being a parents because it seems like it is so easy to do everything wrong. And I sure as hell don't want to put my child through this same pain of living every day knowing that I am not really living even though I am still breathing and eating.