Hi Monster,

Your username may reflect how you feel about yourself, but I am sure underneath that there is a beautiful person trying to find some air.
If there is a way of getting some therapy or similar support, it would probably help you take stock and look for some way forward. Being in a new place with no friends and no job to help you find some is soooo hard and the impact on your self esteem can't be underestimated. Your husbands impatience will not help either.
If you are frightened of him and he won't listen there may be something wrong.
Sometimes men feel they have to fix all problems, including yours, and the fact that there isn't a quick fix would be frustrating, however that wouldn't excuse abusive behaviour that makes you afraid.

Can you find a way to structure your day with simple set tasks and distraction activities on a timetable that you try to stick to. This plan really helps me to break up my day into smaller chunks each of which is easier to survive than an endless long day. Even if emotionally you don't feel it, the small achievements give you a reason to remind yourself that you have and can achieve.

There is so much pain in your post, I really feel for you and wish you luck as you decide what you can do.