I think if it were that easy maybe we wouldn't need therapy. Sometimes I feel like I needcto try harder to act like I care enough about myself or to trust her that things are not my fault and only need to hear it once or twice (or three times maybe???) just becsuse I am frustrating. Sometimes I try extra hard to not hurt myself and follow my meal plan so she knows I'm trying. Actually I have told her that the only readon Zi didn't cut a few times was because I didn't want to tell her. So I get it.

But putting that kind of pressure on yoursekf to get the job seems like way too much. It doesn't sound like you're finctioning all too well right now and it seems like a huge, scary condition to place on yourself. Does she pressure you abt this or does it come from you?

My new therapist keeps telling me it's not my fault when I fail at things (like taking time off work and grad school) because I'm unwell and I need to be kind to myself. Nobody ever told me that before and it feels amazing. Please be kind to yourself, you don't need to "earn" help you need.