We go on because we have to - we have no other alternative. But we have this forum, where we are kind of like an extended family all spread out but still caring what happens to each of us. I am fortunate to have a brother who has always been there for me - who tried to protect me as best he could when we were growing up and who would do anything in his power to help me now if I asked. I am so sorry you are having the problem and I hope you are able to get your move accomplished without too much more anxiety and more problems. We all keep plugging away and I have asked myself (and my T) that same question "why do I keep trying? Why do I keep going on?". So far, he hasn't answered (grin) because he knows I know why - we have to if we are to survive emotionally, physically and psychologically. Our innermost selves know that survival is important and so we continue to get up every morning and, at times just go through the motions of living and caring.