I totally agree with eskielover. Our T cannot stop us from killing ourselves - it is always a choice we have. I have had only two days in my life (and those two have both occurred in the past two weeks!) that I have not thought about doing it (I even have two foolproof plans which I have told my T about) but I have a verbal agreement to not activate my plans as long as I remain in therapy. I know that my T is with me through this - he won't lock me up because he trusts me to not act on my thoughts - he knows, I think, that deep down I don't really want to die, as much as I think I want to (and now that I have had those two days I am beginning to believe he is right). I think I never would have gone into T if I had not wanted to live. I also asked him once what was wrong with wanting to die? Why is everyone against it? He did not give me any BS reason to do with morality and religion. He paused a long time and thought about an answer and finally said mainly it would be because of "missed opportunities" and that really made sense. If I had died I would not have had those two perfect days. If I had died I would no longer be able to stroke my cat. If I had died I never would have learned how to meditate or to have a yoga class or to see another beautiful sunrise or sunset. Missed opportunites makes sense to me as a reason to continue to try to live. At least for me, the fact that I sought therapy to start with means that some small part of me wanted to live and that small part acted to find the help I needed and had needed for 50+ years.