Sometimes I really just don't know what to do. Lately ive just been wanting to be alone. Like not just going to the other room but more like running away and starting a new life alone. School is great but everything else is just getting me down. I love my husband and my kids but at times i don't want them. I know it's selfish but it would be easier alone. Not having to worry about pleasing them or not hurting them. I don't feel I'm good enough. Lately I've been so obsessed with money and how to make it and how to spend it. I always want something. It makes me feel better. There's always apart of my life that I'm in doubt about. Usually either school, career, or my religion and view on life. So far it's religion. I love my church and the people but I'm not sure of the religion for myself and it's stressing me out. If I'm not apart of this church then there is no other for me. If I do decide to ever leave I know I'll lose great friends. There is so much going through my head. I feel there is stain on my relationship with my husband. I can't help being so irritable and on edge with him. We used to have fun and now I'm no fun at all. I know he hates it. I haven't been on meds in about a month and I don't want to be back on them. Everything is just hectic. Thanks for listening to my rant.

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