Quote:
Originally Posted by x123
Thanks. I'm seeing a therapist about other problems. A few weeks ago I got an email from a friend who was part of my paranoia at that time. I thought I was over the psychosis, but the email brought back those memories and feelings of helplessness and shakiness. That lasted only an hour or so until I forced myself to read and respond to his email. I described this to my therapist and my theory of PTSD, but she didn't seem to want to pursue it in our session. When I first mentioned my experience of psychosis, she wanted to put me on anti-psychotics, but I finally convinced her that I am no longer having psychosis. My problem is the memories.
A couple of years ago, smaller things would trigger the memories and paranoia, and they would continue for a day or two instead of an hour. So I'm getting better. It seems like yesterday even though it was 2009.
EDIT: My other problems that I'm discussing in therapy are very minor. I have trouble getting along with somebody, and I'm depressed, and so forth - lots of little things. Sometimes I feel ashamed to be going to therapy for such small things when others need it more.
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I understand how you feel. So much of what is wrong with me is a result of past experiences. My life now? I have minor irritations that I should be mature enough to work around, but somehow always throw me off. The little things tend to build up until I fall off my wagon and stress binge, but sometimes something comes up out of the blue to smack me right in the face with a PTSD meltdown. Unfortunately, I never know for sure what is going to tip me over that edge. Largely, there is nothing wrong with me or my life. Maybe it's the fact that I'm actually in a safe place where I can explore these issues that I've never dealt with before, but I still feel uncomfortable with the thought of going to therapy when there have to be so many people who are in need of it right this second for an ongoing/current crisis. On the other hand, I worry that if I don't deal with my issues now while I'm in a state to manage them that I run the risk of becoming one of those people who are in desperate need of a therapist for a crisis right now...
If you're in therapy already then you're there because you sense you need it. Maybe you haven't actually managed to hit on what's bothering you so much, or haven't gotten to a point of trust where you can delve into what is bothering you with your current therapist yet. Someone else pointed out that it doesn't cost anything to post on here though, and nobody has to respond unless they are interested in the topic. Maybe reading responses or about others' issues can help keep things in perspective while you deal with your own.
