I know the FEELING there guys!! Long ago back in the mid 70's I started to injure myself too. I was never a "cutter"
in the sense of the word, but I put my fist thru alot of doors,
walls, and GLASS picture frames. Only got cut once doing the glass thing. Oh yeah, and BRICK!!! My hands were always battered and bruised and swelled up due to the heavy torturing I'd do to myself. I called it "punishing" for not being able to stand up to my mother. I had a lot of pent up anger and frustrations at life in general. I was an angry
young girl that turned into an angrier young woman. I did that stuff for about 3 years until I got professional help. Near the end of the 70's they put me on every psychitropic drug therapy you could think of.............NONE of it worked. It
just puts that cement feeling in your brain.
After 30 some odd years I have a diagnosis and have since learned that it is NOT my fault. It's not something I could control. It's NOT behavioral.....................I hated myself
and I wanted to hurt something........so instead of hurting my little girl, I chose ME!!! It made more sense. Now I have scars today because of it. Little scars from glass, brick and what not.....................so sad. Today, I slip once in a blue moon, but nothing compared to what I use to do....not even close!!!