I don't know if it's dissociation because I haven't experienced that. But I was also abused starting at age 3 by my father. He was never punished for it and I was never removed from the situation, so it continued for years and years. I also have trouble feeling anger towards my father -- not that I'm not totally disgusted by him, I am. I just can't feel anger because I wasn't allowed to. In order to feel the appropriate anger towards him, I have to sit around and think about different things he did to me all afternoon. I have to focus really hard.

Part of my recovery has been owning and honoring my feelings. It's a long road.

I think joining a group is a great idea. Hearing other people talk about their situation may be hard at first but it is ultimately taught me a lot about coping, perspective, learning self esteem and confidence, putting blame where it goes and not dragging it around with me.

At first, I didn't "want to be part of the club" because I was so wrapped up in the shame and disgust of being a victim. Eventually I realized that wasn't my disgust or shame, that belonged to my abuser and that's his burden to bear.

Never forget: You're extremely strong. You've already done the hardest part and that's survive the abuse itself.