Hello Joojams,

I'm really truly sorry you're finding life so tough! I'm from the uk too.

Do you have a psychiatrist? I expect so, but that's the way to get more help.
In the uk, you only get admitted to hospital if you're a danger to yourself or others, that is unless you have the resources to go private. You still need a Pdoc though I think.
The current thinking is that inpatient treatment while saving lives can also be counterproductive in certain people and a friend of mine who has been in and out of hospital over the decades now gets intensive treatment at home most of the time.
Is there a crisis facility in your area? Where I live Mind run a respite house where people can stay for a week or two to get away from pressures at home. A lot of peopl find it very helpful, though it's not staffed full time, and I have used it with benefit.
The other alternative may be a therapeutic community setting, but that is usually long term, months or a year, and is only appropriate for people with certain types of problems.

My husband was in hospital with mania a number of years ago and he found it quite traumatic. He wasn't allowed out, and other patients were very unwell indeed. He was so desperate not to go back that he even took his medication, even though at the time he didn't believe in it and wanted to stop, so he wouldn't have to go back in.

I hope this information is helpful in some way. I would urge you to hang on in there, when I was your age, I was very depressed with all that goes with it. I did find a treatment that helped a lot for 20 years. So there is hope.
Be kind to yourself as much as you can, YOU DESERVE IT.

I send you all the warm hugs and thoughts I can and sincerely hope you find some hope very soon.