Thank ya'll for responding. I'm sorry i'm losing it so bad lately. Trying to hold on and be alright. I am.

My regular doc asked me earlier this week if i was doing anything to release stress. And I told her what I was doing. I told her i got a bb pistol and I've been shooting at windows on the abandoned houses around me. She said she was glad i was at least doing that. It's ashame cause I've always been against any guns and now I have one, even though its just a bb gun. Im just starting to get blisters from going through 10,000 bb's in just over a week. See a normal person dont do these things. I gonna shut up now, before I make more of an *** of myself.