smartiesparty I totally understand where you are coming from I am also in a long term relationship and a lot of our problems stem from my BPD actions we go to couples therapy I go to individual therapy but my bpd is unhealthy for any relationship so I can feel you on that. I honestly think you should let him know and if you are scared then go to a therapist together and tell him there. BPD takes a serious toll on relationships and the best way to keep it healthy is you must seek therapy together.