You are strong enough, sweetheart. You can get through this. You only have to do it one day at a time.

What you say makes sense. I can understand about the laxatives. I've never used them, but I do cut and I find it comforting sometimes to have razor there "just in case" that I'm "not going to use" you know? But it is a warning sign for me- if I feel reluctant to throw out the razors, I know that's when I need to talk about it with someone safe in order to keep myself ok.

Your pain is from the past. And it hurts a LOT. Believe me, I do understand this. But you are safe now, and you have the ability to make your life your own. You really do! You just have to process through all of the pain of your childhood. Just push through that and you will make it, Justy. Just push, push, push one day at a time. And something my T always tells me when I think I've had all I can take, she reminds me that the psyche has a lot of defense mechanisms and a "wisdom all its own" and my psyche will not hand me anything that I truly am not equipped to handle yet. Even if I feel like can't go on, I CAN. It's the same for you. You can survive this, Justy. You can choose to do that, and you can avoid letting yourself down. Just endure one day at a time.

You can live again.

(((((hugs))))))
Angela