hi deadalready,
do you see a counselor ? to me you have suicidal ideation thoughts. please seek some professional help . if you feel suicidal or thinking about suicide call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. they can help you out. I been in your position before many times . what kept me from attempting suicide is my promise to my counselor that I made w her last year .









Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia