Hi spectrolite. Sorry you have suffered trauma when inpatient. It is a common thing to feel your symptoms would get better off meds, but time and again people who try this slip back into the same illness and must be hospitalized again.

If your meds are not doing what they are supposed to, maybe it is time to contact your prescriber and tell them what is happening - they may decide to adjust your meds.

A therapist might help also.