Hi lima. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are battling extreme depression. There are ways to cope with these kinds of stress, like self care and having a safety plan in case you find yourself in a crisis of confidence. Here is more on a safety plan that includes numbers for crisis lines that serve your area. Psych Central - Search results for Safety plan

Psych Central - Search results for Safety plan

For depression this intense, I would highly recommend a therapist and or psychiatrist, but if that is not possible, I would like to recommend a resource here at Psych Central that you can send in a question, and get a reply from the therapist as their time allows. Here is the link for that. Ask the Therapist

With people who knowingly or unknowingly may have been abused that or anything else could be a trigger to a more severe depression. Best to talk to a therapist about that.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

There are lots of compassionate people here that can make the load lighter by sharing and caring. Feel free to participate actively at Psych Central. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com
Depression support chat is Thursday at 9PM EST but need 5 posts to enter forum.

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.