Thank you for saying that. That is how I've been feeling as well and I have not been able to explain it well to my therapist. I may steal your phrasing Thursday. I'm not dissociating, just scared that mental illness is going to burst out of me uncontrolled, like a volcano erupting because I am holding so much back and keeping it inside because emotions do not feel safe. I finally got that much across today and that was a big step for us. I don't know why it's all so hard to say but it is. I think I'm afraid I'll be lost in the illness completely if I let up my guard and that's probably not true.

Again, thanks for your wording. I needed the help.