Hello there!
I'm new to the forums on PsychCentral, but I wanted to ask if anyone here is dealing with the same, admittedly strange, symptoms of depression as I am.

First, let me give you a bit of background. I had been dealing with very severe depression for the better part of my life. I had never been institutionalized, but only just barely. I had dealt with suicidal tendencies when I was in my mid teens and, besides an overwhelming sense of sadness and hopelessness, I could not be bothered to care about or engage in any sort of hobby or personal pursuit. Needless to say, I was a live-wire of emotional instability.

However, this past year was when I had finally been able to push back against my illness. With the help of my therapist, medication, friends, family and some good choices on my part, I finally feel like I'm winning the fight against the negative torrent of emotions in my head. That being said, I'm still struggling against some of my old symptoms. While I find myself in a generally good mood these days, the next problem I find myself faced with is the symptom of "Anhedonia." For those who do not know, anhedonia is the inability to feel pleasure from any sort of activity.

This is where tings get a little muddy, for me. While I find myself in a fairly positive mood, I can't seem to get myself emotionally involved in any kind of activity at all. Whether it's school work, hobbies, exercise or even sex, I can't feel the emotional pull toward any of these things that would drive me to excel or even care about them. I can get short "Bursts" of excitement from things, but it fades rapidly and soon I am unable to care about it at all. I can recall enjoying certain things I used to do before my depression set in, but if I pursue them now, it feels like an emotional flat-line. The idea of a hobby might peak my interest, but in practice, I receive no positive emotional feedback (or any emotional feedback, for that matter) no matter how good or bad I am at it. With no internal-emotional support, I simply lose interest and abandon it.

Is it possible anhedonia can be a condition in and of itself rather than just the symptom of something else? Has anyone else here felt this kind of emotional numbness in their everyday pursuits? Is this just a remnant from my experience with depression or is it something else? Any help would be appreciated!