I finished my 9th ECT treatment last Friday and my Mom flew back to Ontario after staying with me to help for a few weeks.

Before she was here and before my treatments I was on here every day, following along with people and offering what support I could.

Then I feel like I just dropped off when my Mom got here, which I did.

In addition to that, I've suffered from a lot more memory loss than I thought. I was re-reading some of my old posts and I don't remember some of them. I don't remember being in crisis and my husband leaving work to be with me... I had forgotten that completely until I read that.

Re-reading all of my recent posts I'm struck with gratitude for this list and I feel genuine affection for those of you I've come to know. You have helped me immensely and been there for me. You gave me a lot of really good advice and I had forgotten much of it as well. So when I was re-reading it, it was like I was reading it for the first time and I got warm fuzzies all over again :-)

I'm surprised by how much memory loss I've had. I was unaware of most of it and I had initially been thinking that I might be getting off easy with very little memory loss at all. I guess that's because I was completely unaware of what I'd forgotten, so I didn't think I'd forgotten anything. As time goes on, I realize more and more that I'm missing more than I thought. It seems worse in the past week or two. I wouldn't care if the depression was gone, but it's hanging on so far...

This post is a little scattered, but I wanted to give an update. I've decided I will try to go IP. I'd forgotten that I'd already decided to go, and I'd forgotten that I'd made some arrangements already, but reading my posts here helped.

I'm going to do my best to be on here more regularly and to not be so self absorbed.

Lisa