((((((ocdchick))))))))))

I have done some very awful things while manic and I struggle with the same question. But I have to keep telling myself that Christ died for me one time for all of my sin, and therefore I am ultimately forgiven already. The self-forgiveness becomes a long process, because I am human and it is very hard for humans to forgive. You can look at it "academically" and know that you are forgiven, and then work on the self-forgiveness a day at a time. Take care and pm me if you want to talk! HUGS!