Thank you all for the input. I appreciate it.
rcat you asked some good questions...
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Okay, your Psychiatrist seems to be recommending you check yourself in, but what about the people around you? Even if they aren't outright commenting on your current personality and behaviour has their behaviour changed around you? Are they reacting at all to your mania and psychosis?
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Everyone around me is concerned, they've stopped commenting about things because I'm "hostile" apparently. They do seem to be like they're walking on eggshells around me and watching me very closely. One of my strongest support people keeps pointing out that I seem psychotic though not as much today.
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What is preventing you from checking yourself in? How would that impact your life? (ie. work, finances family, etc)
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This is my main problem, I have a lot of things to do this week that really only I can do that are also time sensitive, like it can't just wait while I'm in the hospital for who knows how long. The consequences of missing all my obligations this week would be really messy and that could just destabilize me even MORE if I don't meet my obligations like I have to. I do not want to go in unless there is no other option.
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I have questions about your previous hospitalizations: how long were you a patient? did you discharge yourself? Were you stable on transition out? What kind of supports did you have in place on discharge? (ie. outpatient programs)
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Anywhere from five days to almost a month to answer the first question. The second, yes I was stable when I transitioned out, I haven't been in the hospital since early 2014. My outside support has mostly been limited to seeing my psychiatrist and going to therapy. I've never done an outpatient program though several people in my life have suggested I try it before...