[QUOTE=vital;4721972]What do people tell you when they say you're insane the way you think?

My first message didn't go threw so I'll try and write again

In 2013 I was told I have cancer / due to my health at that stage I resigned from my work / problems with my eldest son and so much more!

In short I was angry I wanted to know why all these things were happening to me? I felt guilty for the way I was acting so I went and see my husbands pastor that took everything I told him and preach around it that Sunday he said that people are to quick to ask why me if you don't want it to happen to you, who do you want it to happen to! I was furious how could he betray me my trust I thought he understood that's not what he told me!

I decided that if I can't see it, feel it, it does not exsist! I withdrew from everything, I started to question everything and everybody's attentions! For example: the other day a lady in the store said; nice tattoo, bit unusual but nice, my thoughts immediately, you are lying, everybody can see its scars from burning that I try to cover with tattoos! So why lie. I'll never know maybe she did mean it maybe not what I'm trying to say is that I only think negative nothing positive and believe me ive tried the positive thing 'not good' Im always the one that get disappointed.

Im still in love with my husband of 17 years you know that warm feeling you got the first time you saw that handsome guy well that I still have for my husband, I think because of my first marriage that consisted out of cheating/emotional abuse/i was only aloud in town if he was with me yes I know stupid me he was scared I saw him with his mistresses! I don't know what trigger it but by the end of 2013 I was convinced and still am that I only need my husband and children I don't want people around my husband especially women because they can intrude they can take him away from me!

I'm so messed up, sorry!
Thanks for listening