((Echoes)) ((Allthegirls))

Thanks girlfriends...

I went to bed feeling anxious, trying to conjure up T's gentle voice in my mind. I realized it is my wounded little girl who is feeling so frightened. I can use my mothering role that I am secure in to take care of her. I think that my son's behavior changes reminded my inner child of my father's behavior changes, and somewhere in my mind I confused the two. My son is a peaceful loving person. My father was a raging, abusive alcoholic. But it was the change in behavior that triggered my panicy feeling. I'm glad I was able to figure this out.

I woke up at 3 am with anxiety and was able to use my ativan to calm it. I so rarely use the ativan, I had forgotten I had it for a reason. It worked like a charm. I feel so much better today and hope to be able to focus on my work.

Oh Echoes, good idea to take care of son first. I just made him blueberry pancakes and i think he feels cared for. Maybe he'll let me work?

I didn't call T again. I will see him on Monday, soon enough. I feel sort of proud I figured this one out.

Peace and thanks to you both.