I think you shouldn't worry so much about the hows and the whats of what you're doing. I cry easily in therapy, not because I made a choice to, or because it's a good thing (I hate it, actually) but because that's my natural reaction to therapy.

You don't need to put on a show of tears so your therapist knows you're having feelings. If you keep working on the emotional stuff, sooner or later you'll have a breakthrough

To be honest, the fact that you're worried about trying to cry strikes me as being the same drive as the one that makes you compose yourself. You're all about trying to make yourself behave in different ways. You're not just letting yourself be.

Telling an anxious person to relax is like telling the Eiffel Tower to levitate, so I won't do that, but I think the more you can let go of the thoughts around this stuff, the sooner you'll respond more closely to your emotions.