Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
Hello Aracela: Yes, I understand something of this. For me, it's not that I prevaricate, but throughout my life, I have just done one stupid and / or embarrassing or hurtful thing after another. I sincerely believe that anyone who really knew me would not want to have anything to do with me. So I save them the trouble. I have made the conscious decision to simply keep to myself. I avoid all social contact to the greatest extent possible. I often say it is my gift to the world. I just want to be forgotten by everyone... 
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I know exactly how you feel, especially because of my traumatic childhood of being bullied and in turn bullied one of my friend. I've become so afraid of people in general...that I am deathly afraid of my recent friends will find out what a troubling child I was. I ran away from my friends who were there for me in high school because I felt like I didn't deserve their friendship. I never want them to know anything about my life before I met them, so I tried so hard to hide it.
I've become so afraid yet my personality is the opposite of what I am actually feeling. I do have a bubbly like personality, I laugh a lot and can easily create a conversation with other people, but at the same time I am so scared of them. Scared of what they really think of me, scared of their hatred or pity towards me...I don't know how to stop this feeling...