I totally know where your coming from I only been in a few months and it's just so hard to see this as the rest of my life!! Especially knowing how part of my story was scandalized! The only solace I can say is if it is that important try to go back to work. If you fall flat on your face, then apply again and this time make sure you don't need working to complete yourself. Yes, sometimes you have to swallow that hard pill and leave well enough alone. I'm 37 years old, I worked since I was 18 years old without that big of problems like I had the last 2 years. It leaves you at a place of being unfulfilled just wondering aimlessly without plan or direction in life. Like coming to terms with mental illness isn't enough, right! I don't know I feel for you. I think I might do okay later years later in some capacity like this peer support or counselor. I got beef with counselors also, so who knows what will happened with myself. I don't know what to say... Hang in there!