Dear G, you were so right about me needing to see a spiritual director and work on the spiritual aspect of my mental health. With the decline in my spiritual health and my disillusionment with God/church/Christianity/spirituality nothing else has really mattered to me. I remember thinking years ago if I lost God, lost my faith, that I would have nothing to live for, no reason to want to stay alive. I did lose my faith, and I've been fumbling about as best as I can, trying to make sense of my life, trying to make meaning out of the chaos, and it's not been working very well. But today I saw the spiritual director that you recommended to me, and I feel like I can breathe again. I feel like there is hope again, and I have felt no hope for so long. I have felt so scared and alone, surrounded by a hostile, terrifying, suffocating darkness, so close to death. But today I felt like maybe I could see a little, far off light; for a brief moment I could feel a fresh wind in my soul. I guess I need to hang onto the memory of that.

Sometimes it just amazes me that you know what I need before I realize it or know it. I don't know how you know those things about me, but it makes me feel loved.