Hello. I was recently diagnosed as bipolar with phsycotic features. Therapist was really pushing medicine on me. I was terrified but made my psychiatrist appointment and waited 2 months. Finally see him and get prescribed 20mg of celexa and 1mg respiradol. First night I didn't experience anything bad. I just got really tired and kinda dizzy. The next 3 days were hell. I was dizzy, tingly, slow, clumsy, felt dead inside, cold and hot, major panic attacks literally one after another, heart palpitations that woke me from sleep and lasted hours. It was hell. I was terrified. I had been wanting, needing, praying for some kind of help. Ended up at the er and passed out before they even got me a bed. Told me to stop everything and then see my phsyc. I did. Was told to continue with celexa and now start 50mg of seroquel. After that experice with respiradol, I'm so terrified of taking anything. I asked him if I could cut my pill in half and he laughed. My therapist said it wouldn't help my bipolar but could easy my anxiety and make taking meds easier. I didn't want to take anything. I didn't want to try again. But I see I need to be treated. But I am struggling. I took my celexa and had a panic attack a few hours later thinking I was having a reaction. I'm so scared of the seroquel bevause it can have similar affects to the respiradol. Im sensitive to medicine and I'm a very small, thin lady. But I feel like no one is listening and I don't think they realise how hard this is. I don't want to feel like that again. Am I being too childish? Am I right to be wary? Is starting so small pointless? I'm beside myself and all anyone can tell me is "take it! You'll be fine once the side effects go away!"

I don't want those side effects. I couldn't work. I couldnt function. All I could do was lay on the couch and cry and try to convince myself I wasn't dying.