For some reason i remember and focus on every bad thing anyone has ever done to me.
I think i use it as an excuse for not living my life and can blame it on why i am like i am.
Im really sick of this. I dont want to remember or focus on negative things and i want to forgive and move forward but i dont know how.

I really hate myself and i dont know how to like myself and start living again.

I will never get better. I will never love my self or be loved . I really want to die but the thing that stops me is family that i will hurt and pain i will cause to others. Oh i just dont want to be here. Its unbearable being me. Life feels like a punishment. I dont know what to do any more . [emoji21]

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