I have gone to my new T. for 3-4 sessions. Unlike my ex-T., she offers longer sessions, email and phone contact in between sessions. She has said she never wants me to leave upset versus ex-T who told me I do my best work when I'm struggling (gee, thanks).

I told new T. about Running on Empty and how I had wished ex-T. would have read the book. Ex-T didn't even offer to read the one chapter geared towards therapists. New T. is rereading the book for me.

New T. has validated that therapy failed me. My ex-T. handled my transference very poorly and fed it in the way she reacted to me even though I was telling her it was triggering.

So, now I find myself with a great T. but it makes me more sad about ex-T. I'm sad she didn't realize what I needed, I'm sad she was inconsistent returning my texts and didn't realize how that would affect me, I'm sad she didn't try harder, I'm frustrated she made my termination only 2 sessions. While I know this should be a good thing, it makes going to my sessions more difficult. I cried on the way to work today thinking why did I tell someone who hurt me that I loved them. Sometimes I just think about stopping and stuffing it all down. After 43 years of practice, I'm good at it and it feels the most comfortable.