I thought I posted this earlier from the tapatalk app, but I guess it didn't work.
ever since I was like 5 years old I began lying to my parents about how I felt and things I did. I hid my feelings all the time and I have no idea what caused me to do such a thing or where I got the idea for that at such a young age.
I'm still like this today.
I rarely share how I'm feeling with anyone, I keep my emotions and feelings to myself. I wish I didn't though. I know how bad it is for me and I know how much it's hurt me and my relationships with others by being this way.
now the thing is
I want to start talking about these things with someone
but i can't even think about my feelings without crying
that's how bad it is.
I have a couple options I've been considering
my (small) school (of 60 kids) just hired a a counselor. I've been thinking of going to him
or I have this guy I know I can talk to whenever and he will listen. he's a great guy and I feel comfortable talking to him.
but
I know I'll cry
and I don't want to
that's embarrassing and just like when I laugh, I can't stop I'll just keeping laughing lol. but if I cry, I worn stop crying either. I can't deal with that.
does anyone else have this problem? I don't know what to do..