I've been in the numbing stage, the this is BS stage, the just get over it already stage and now I am in the feeling stage in therapy. It is bittersweet because it absolutely sucks to feel the trauma it is slowly helping and I can see a day in the future when I can truly be over all of this. I've gotta believe that the work I am doing right now will pay off. I am sorry that you are feeling the way you are and having been there wish you only the best.