Well DeeAnnaD, I don't know if I have any particularly great advice. The main thing I think, from my perspective, would be to avoid putting yourself in situations where there is going to be allot of anxiety-producing stuff going on, & where alcohol is going to be flowing. Also, if you are hoarding pills... get rid of them, or give them to someone to hold for you. If possible, also share your concerns with those you are perhaps likely to be spending time with & ask them to help by not having alcohol & other similar stuff around.

There aren't any magical solutions here. Just be mindful of the difficulties you've experienced in the past. Don't put yourself in situations where, what has been a problem for you previously, is present. You wrote that you get terrible anxiety thinking of the upcoming holidays. If you can plan ahead & arrange your holiday events so that you're not exposed to high levels of anxiety, alcohol, etc. perhaps the anxiety you're feeling in anticipation of the events can be lessened. Also, if you see a counselor, or therapist, talking this whole situation through may be helpful. Or, in the alternative, if you're not seeing a mental health professional, if there is a trusted friend or family member you can talk with, that may work as well.

The holidays are a stressful time for most people. And, given that you're one month sober, it is likely to be a particularly challenging time for you this year. Be kind to yourself, & don't feel like you have to participate in every activity that comes along. You have the right to say no. I celebrate your sobriety!