My urges to self injure reared their ugly heads after a long period of remission... hmmm...in about... midway through 2014.
By most people's (i'm guessing) opinions those self-injuries would be considered somewhat severe, which was and still is a total joke to me.
They knew I had done it only because they could see them... I don't talk about them unless people ask or if someone wants to hospitilize me ( except in virtual war zone... ...).
Then in the fall of 2014 the urge ( that time it became a decision to do so ) resulted in minor scratches.
As I said, this deire had been in remission for quite some time... years.
(Should I be using trigger mode for a thread like this? I guess I'll just use the icon ).
I self injure when I am furious and feel helpless, knowing that I cannot change the situations that I react to in this manner.

TODAY!!!
I thought I had gotten over that urge.
I'm not depressed; I don't even feel powerless at all.
But I already have my plan all laid out.
It is NOT suicidal at all. I made a promise to God in Jesus's name back in late summer of 2013 that I would never try suicide again. Some time later God took away the very desire of mine to even try to kill myself. Well, in the last few days He has allowed that desire to come back; He takes it away quickly though; they've been just passing thoughts.
TODAY, however, I've had the self-injury tattoos designed for 3 hrs. now.
This time ( it's getting colder here pretty fast), they will not be visible to anyone but me until after they are completely healed.
The most painful part of it is that many of my mental health care workers have seen these parts of my body many times and they know I self-injure and , statiscally speaking, they won't even notice them though the plan is that they will be quite visible.The new ones will be even more visible healed than the ones some of them watched heal from the time I created them.
To me, it is lack of compassion itself. I am so angry!
I know quite a few people who have noticed them and been compassionate towards these "moods".
None of these concerned people are mental health workers.
That , to me, is just downright sad. These are the only people I know that I get angry at enough to behave in this manner.
Hugs and kisses that I texted just now are extremely sarcastic, by the way. I hate that phrase.LGO.