I don't know what to do... I feel like I'm faced with deciding whether someone who mattered to me a long time ago will live or die. If I reach out, I risk destroying the life I have now. If I don't reach out... I don't even want to think about that possibility.

I only know that he's not doing well because of a mutual facebook friend. One of his posts showed up in my news feed tonight. I never really knew him... I had feelings for him in high school, 7 or more years ago, and never acted on those feelings. I stayed away because I thought he'd be better off not knowing me. I was in a dark place at the time... and maybe I was right back then. But I never forgot him. I'm almost in tears thinking about all this... I don't want anything to happen to him. But I don't know what I'm risking if I try to contact him. What if I start really caring for him? What if it puts my present relationship in jeopardy? But... what if I'm the one person who can save him, and I don't?

I feel sick. I feel like I'm on the edge of a knife, about to fall off one end or the other. No matter what decision I make, something bad will probably happen. I wish I didn't care so much. I wish I could be selfish and happy with my life and not worry about this. But I can't.

I guess what I'm looking for is some kind of support. I just want to know that I'm not broken for feeling and reacting this way...