so for all of those who have read my last posts, i have went up to the hospital for help. though i dont know why because they never help. all they want at this point is to shut me up with meds so they dont have to deal with me anymore. they never listen to what i say so why should i care about what they think the problem is when i already know and they dont want to believe it. so for all of those who care i am going to get what some consider help but what i consider a lie