lems Im sorry but we are not this persons treatment providers therefore we are not able to make a definitive diagnosis of what her problem is...

what I can say is that for many people what you posted is completely normal.

also many people who rent out a room in their homes to others do either require a renter to be conscious of the way that they use the utilities, and to not waste water, electric.... especially if this person you are renting from is in a limited income (example not working and receiving SSI,SSDI or welfare) these state assistance only allow so much for things like electricity.

there is nothing wrong with not using an air conditioner. it wasnt so long ago when there was no such thing as an air conditioner and people survived, they did so with ice cubes, cool wet wash cloths, keeping hydrated with lots of cold ice water, and other iced or cold beverages, wearing light colored, and light cotton fabrics and shorts,... my own house is not equipped with an air conditioner, or fan, due to the cost of electricity. theres also lakes and pools for swimming and getting cooled off in the summer time. i bet if you sat down and thought about it you could find ways to stay cool without needing to cause the electric bill to increase beyond what is affordable for you and this lady you are renting a room from.

doing your dishes by washing them and wiping them right way is just a common courtesy if you have room mates, for one thing by doing this is saves the dishes from getting hair, dust, pollen on them during the summer time when most people have their windows open for the fresh air and cool breeze. If you dont like washing and drying your own dishes right away, maybe you can set aside some of your money for paper plates and disposable utensils. this way you eat and throw away rather than taking the time to wash and wipe your dishes.

by the way most towns and cities do have rules that allow the home owner to know what is going on in their homes when they rent out a room in their home to someone, but if this is an apartment building and you have your own apartment then they have to give you 24 hour notice before entering. since this is inside this lady's private home may not be covered by renters laws of expected privacy. what you can do is ask the city government of the city you live in if you are allowed to buy a lock for your door while renting in someones private home rather than an apartment building.. if they say yes thats your rights to do that, then you can talk with this lady and buy your own padlock and pad lock bracket for the door,

as for her changing her mind...well all people change their minds from time to time. I bet i f you think about it you will remember a time when someone wanted you to do something and you said yes then later decided not to do that with them. you said you have ADHD well for some people with adhd change is something thats hard to get used to and is upsetting when it happens but its just part of life, things change and people do change their minds.

ok now you have some choices to make...

you can stay there or you can decide to move somewhere else.

if you stay then you may need to understand that you may be paying rent but you are living in someone elses home, so you will need to uphold that persons rules, just like if you had a home and you invited someone to live in your home you would expect them to go by your rules.

the choice is yours. good luck in what ever you decide to do.