I have wondered for sometime about CBT having some weakness and it seems to be in validating feelings that people have, simple as that. We have to feel them. To move immediately to a cognitive frame seems potentially harmful. Some of the best work with my T has been when the feelings between us, bring up my stuff. The feelings help me find the depth of the issue. The feelings help me own it.

CBT as a primary tool would not work for me because I am good at pushing away feelings with intellectualizing. That said, my T has sometimes regulated my feelings for me by holding a frame that keeps me from getting triggered and decompensating. This can be helpful. But when the time is right, we get to them. It is especially hard when one has trouble articulating feelings and can appear competent, etc. Have you been able to say something like, "when I hear 'challenge those thoughts' or 'it just takes time' I feel invalidated. I need you to listen and hear what I am saying. I need to know you understand what I'm going through emotionally." If you come out and plainly say what is happening for you, the therapist may surprise you.

That you are painfully aware of the feelings you understand as transference seems a huge opportunity for healing. Is CBT the only tool this person has?

As for touch, that's a hard one and one area of the "therapeutic frame" that gives me headaches. I personally think that some touch should be okay. We are embodied creatures after all.