I imagine your worsened state is due to being off any mood stabilizers. I know the ect didn't work for you. Maybe going IP is a good idea. They can monitor you while you get your next round of ECT. I would do one more round and if nothing changes then stop. It might get better after more treatments, as I said before it took 13 for me to feel even the slightest bit better.
I understand the physicality of it. I've been feeling crushed under depression for a few days. Whenever I get depressed it's like a weight on my chest. I feel like I'm too exhausted to even breathe. I really hope things get better for you soon.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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