About a week ago, I wanted to cut. I planned that I'd make a relatively small cut on my arm, just into the fat layer but not to the bottom of the fat layer. I always wear long sleeves, so hiding it wouldn't be a problem, and those cuts usually only take two weeks to heal.

I cut, but it wasn't enough. It was like my body was moving on auto-pilot and I was just watching.

I feel like I'm losing control over my cutting, and that one day I'll go too far without being able to stop myself. But I don't want to stop cutting, it's a big part of my personality and the only thing that works... I'm a bit lost right now.