I am so tired of existing through the same day over and over for years now. For 30 years I have tried all the medications and combinations of medications. I have been through years and years of therapy and it was helpful for what it was worth. But I have barely gotten out of bed in the last 4 years. Over a period of about a year, I just stopped functioning. I stopped feeling like a normal person, even a depressed person. Except on rare occasion, I'm not even sad anymore. I live on like auto-pilot. I have no job, no friends, a non relational non talking husband, I don't go anywhere, don't talk to anyone, don't do anything...I really just sleep, sometimes eat and drink, watch tv and do it again tomorrow. I have read quite a bit about anhedonia, which discussed individuals being unable to feel pleasure or positive emotional states but I haven't found any prospects on treatment. Obviously, I have a ton of history and past issues but really all that matters right now is that I cant take living the same day anymore. For what its worth I used to be a therapist. So yeah, there's that. I am not ignorant about any of the typical treatments and strategies like medication, therapy, diet, exercise, meditation, spirituality... and I still believe all of those can be great. Unfortunately none of them are helpful to me, in the slightest, at this point. If anything, knowing how they used to work for me or how they worked for clients, now, makes me feel even worse. Distractions aren't working either. Its just unbearable. I cant keep existing.