nowhere46, hi. I am so, so sorry that you're continuing to battle such severe depression. I can certainly relate to much of your post. Most times I feel like I am living Groundhog Day. The same depression and anxiety, over and over and over. Sure, meds help a little bit and when I take a walk I feel a tiny bit better - for 1/2 an hour. But nothing really changes. I don't dislike myself, I am only very weary of carrying my baggage.

I wish I had some great suggestion for you. All I can say is that it seems that some of us are just naturally depressed, we seem to be cut from that cloth. But I could be wrong...the depression tells me a lot of lies.