Hi Kayla..
Are you on any medication? I don't think I read that you are.

I can only randomly comment on what you wrote...and sometimes I wonder if the people here really want that of if they're just venting.

Leaving that loser was the best thing you could have done. Really. Kudos.
Your family is NO support for you (I don't mean that in a mean way). I would hesitate to tell them anything because they are NOT in a position to help you in any way. As you are aware every time you talk to them, they have their own shyte to deal with so they have nothing to give you.

As for the other stuff...you're sabotaging yourself and that's stuff for a therapist to help you with. You probably can figure out the "why's" as you are intelligent, but knowing "why" isn't the same as being able to effectively deal it.

So I guess my only comment is to see a doctor and get a referral to a therapist. You will need to research resources in your state. Perhaps taking that as a first step will help you gain a sense of accomplishment.

Sorry I can't help more...