I can totally sympathize with you. I was in therapy with ex-T. for 1.5 years. I never cried in front of her until the last 2 sessions when we were terminating. I cried more in between sessions for that year than all my life. I would tell her I want to cry because she'll really see how much I'm struggling. I would cry in her waiting room or the minute I left, but not with her. It really bothered me.

I'm not sure why I was able to the last two sessions. I think someone's post earlier about feeling safe is key. I couldn't see it at the moment but I don't think I ever felt safe with her - I was always afraid of her reactions. I guess in the last two sessions I knew it didn't matter since I was leaving.

I also usually don't cry in front of others and I was sent to my room as a child if I cried. In this past year I've learned to start to let the tears flow with others. It started with my kids - they had rarely seen me cry.

The first two sessions with new T. I cried. I'm sure it was due to being overwhelmed (terminating, new T.) but I wonder if deep down I feel more safe.

With ex-T. I would try NOT to cry in between sessions hoping it would all come out in my session. I also tried to let it flow in both circumstances. Nothing ever seemed to work. You may have to just accept it.