Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccer mom
Someone else mentioned this to me. It's strange because I'm fairly confident and secure and haven't felt like I needed others. So, I'm not sure that I feel I don't "deserve" it. I can't figure it out. Every time she does something sweet, I think about how ex T didn't do it and cry. I emailed her that it's hard for me right now because she's so different than ex T.
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It sounds like grief to me. When I started dating my now-husband, he would do things that my first husband never did - like flowers and chocolate or other little gifts, or little courtesies like holding the door, pushing in my chair, etc. And part of me was always sad that my first husband never saw fit to do those things, even though I knew I was well rid of him. Eventually I got past that - I think the grief was less for the person, and not because I felt undeserving, but because I realized how much different/better another relationship I had valued could have been. If that makes sense.