It makes complete sense that you would feel dead spiritually if you feel dead in almost all other areas of your life. To me, the spirit is what feeds me, having it go dead would starve what's left. It makes me wonder, is it another area of my life that died first, and, my spirit, not prepared to over-ride that default, was overcome by it?

Anyway, I really understand how you feel because I was 'dead' for awhile in life too. Too long. But, as they said, everything is for a reason and so, this isn't about me.

Can you feel something when you look at the beauty of a garden? Does something, anything, seem beautiful to you? I was lucky I guess, in my darkest saddest lonliest times, the sky of stars, the moon, a sunrise, blades of grass looked beautiful to me. I did feel alone, but, in that lonely moment, I could feel. I could feel sad for being alone, and I did, but I was grateful too for those blades of grass in the starlight. Their spirit kept me alive. With them, I wasn't alone and it eased some of the heartache. I hope your will ease too.