Thank you. After having cried a little bigger than necessary given the situation, and deleting all of my comments, I feel better. Perhaps you are right...and maybe the virtual world isn't the best place to utter every thought that falls out of my panicked mind. But, I am so afraid to go to my husband. Sure, I go to him after the fact, I'll tell him that last night I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown. At least here, no one really knows me, except I know that those who kind of know me on here will love me anyway, and I know that those who have qualms with me are gonna have those qualms. I'm still listening to this stupid song and I'm starting to hate it because it is making me feel worse, but I feel like I can't turn it off...like it's a toddler's security blanket. I just do that even though I know it makes no sense. I just feel like a ******* mess. And I want to keep talking about how bad I am and how horrible I am in this moment, because I complain too much, and, right now, that's all I feel like I can do. I don't know how to get it together when I am feeling like this. I am like a kindergartner, entirely labile. And I know it. But, I'm not sure how to change it. Anyway, I feel less panicked but clearly just as emotional. Perhaps I always will. But, when I am not in the midst of an episode, I am emotionally stable. I don't do this nonsense. I don't feel this nonsense. And, I especially don't act like a lunatic.