Hallie is there some way you can see any member of your team early? I'm worried about you, especially when you describe the struggle you face to NOT give in to the compulsion. One weak moment could be disastrous.

If you are headed for a mixed episode, can you or would you go IP? I'm good at suggesting this to others while resisting it myself :-) Seriously though, compulsions like that are dangerous, as you know.